Marginalia

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Monday 15 January 2018

Halden revisited

Started the day at the doc's office. After half an hour there, I met up with Bjørn who had driven me, and we went to Bakergården for breakfast and a coffee. That is always nice, and food is always excellent. And then we drove to Halden a favoured destination. And in Halden, the fortress. We wanted to walk a little bit and to take pics. We found a throdden path we had not followed before, and a sign that said "The shielded path". So cool that there is still more to explore at the fortress! We went ahead, and were very much shielded by the thick fortress walls. But then the wall to the right was replaced by a great view over Halden town.

We walked on to more familiar parts of the fortress, and took some pictures along the way.

Then we drove downtown and parked. And just like on Thursday, Bjørn saw a woman he knew (not the same one), and we stopped to have a long and nice chat. Then - a new cafeteria, a new cup of coffee and a small lunch. On the way home we stopped at a place I wanted to explore. And what do you know, we found a perfect new forest path along a frozen, snowy lake. Now everything is just shades of white and grey, but it must look amazing in sping and summer. Benches everywhere, so no doubt we have not been the first to think that. We met a couple with two fantastic dogs and talked with them for a while. They told us the path would take us all the way to the hilltop on the other side of the lake. We have to do that, it looked like a perfect place to go. It will be 20 km or more, so needs to be warmer than today, or we need to be better dressed. I took some pictures along the way. most of them naturalistic ones, but a few just to be artsy :P

We drove home, Bjørn spent ten minutes inside, and then he drove back to Halden for a Red Cross meeting. I stayed at home, ticking things off my list.

Sunday 14 January 2018

Doing my best!

Everything taken in consideration, I have been doing OK today.

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Saturday 13 January 2018

Unproductive

... to the extreme. Arg.

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Friday 12 January 2018

A good day

Another round with friendly shock wave treatment. This time I was up to over 3 bar and I started to feel it a little. I have a lot more to go on though. I also got new exercises to do at home.

After the treatment we drove to Moss, got Bjørn a belated Christmas present and had lunch and coffee at a cafeteria there. I was not quite ready to face the perils of home, so Bjørn suggested a drive to Halden. I wish Halden was closer to where I work; I like it there. In Halden we stopped at the fortress. We have been there several times before, but then we have always walked up to the main part of the fortress. We have seen there is a path leading away from it, but have not cared to explore it. This time we did. We soon bumped into a funny dog scuplture, and as we walked on, we came across a path one could walk down the steep hillside and to the center of Halden. What we also came across was another section of the fortress. This part of the fortress had been occupied by the Swedes under the leadership of their King Karl the 12th. King Karl is one of two Swedish warrior Kings. And right here, with the Swedes holding this one part of the fort, he was shot and killed on November 30th 1718. There is a big memorial monument there for him raised by both Norwegian and Swedes. On our way back to the car, Bjørn saw a fellow Red Cross member, so we stopped for them to have a chat. Then back to a warm car, and driving home. We shopped for groceries on the way, came home, made dinner and relaxed. Evening came and regardless of the sleep meds, insomnia hit. I was awake till 3am.

I only had a cell phone with me today, but took some pictures with it.

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Thursday 11 January 2018

Snow

It is snowing. A broad path is trod from the madman's house to ours since he patrols here regularly. Good Lord how insanely crazy he is.

Took me one hour and forty minutes to drive to work. Horrid driving conditions, cars driving at 40 km an hour. Good thing I started early enough. Had a good evening at work. I am glad I still work 60% (20% in Askim and 40% in Kolbotn). It is good for me to think about work and not only everything else.

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(not my picture)

Wednesday 10 January 2018

Just getting things done.

And staying alive. Quite an achievement.

Tuesday 9 January 2018

Zzzzz

Argh. The new sleeping pills I am on do make me sleep, but the time it takes before I fall asleep differ greatly, and it messes up my daily rhythm completely. Today I had to get up before 8am. We had people coming to look at our house,and it needed to look its best. We both did housework for about four hours. I had a phone call from my workplace' health insurance company, and we talked for an hour. That was a good thing. I will need a bit of help to get back on my feet. Today the madman was patrolling our property for hours. For a while I worried I would not be able to go to work, but fortunately the crazy fuck took a break.

Shortly after I left home, flowers were delivered here. One of my classes had sent them. A wonderful bouquet, some quality sweets and a card saying "Thanks for being our teacher". That was really touching. I miss work and I miss my pupils.

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Monday 8 January 2018

Oh, the pressure...

A new physio, another round of shock wave therapy for my plantar. Well actually the guy is a chiropractic, but I try not to hold it against him. Shock therapy is shock therapy, and he is one of the friendliest and best I have come across. He is also very knowledgeable, and gives sound advice. I put up with a round of shock therapy, and he said he had never had a patient who could take as much as 2.8 bar the first time, and he told me he felt brutal. I was up to 4 bar many years ago, so I am used to the kind of pain this is, and 2.8 is very low on the pain scale.

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Sunday 7 January 2018

<3

In the midst of being worn down, on sick leave and in an unbearable living situation, I am so eternally grateful for the good people in my life. My husband Bjørn who struggles through alongside with me, my family, my friends, my colleagues, my pupils. This week I got flowers from my work. A lovely bouquet, here is a close-up of a few of the flowers in it:

Geir from work phones me and texts me. He recently told me that when he and Ronak had talked about coming home to me to visit me, others wanted to come along, so he asked me how many people I would be able to deal with at the time. Sissel from work has texted me and told me she is thinking about me. Some people from work have called the police, asking them how our case is going and if the police is going to do something. Anita from work texted me and said I could stay overnight at her place whenever I wanted. Joanna from work told me I could come live with her. My boss follows me up, and is pure kindness. Pupils text me, tell me they miss me and long for me to come back. It is very heartwarming.

Saturday 6 January 2018

Being social

I am still struggling to get my sleep pattern under control. Bloody annoying.

The rest of the day, however, was very nice. In the early afternoon, Erik and Linda came for a visit. Erik is Bjørn's oldest friend and a very easy guy to get along with. As is his wife. Not to mention their three dogs. Unfortunately I could only be in their good company for three hours, because I had already arranged for Anne to come pick me up, so that we could have an evening out. A little while later, Bjørn sent me this photo... Someone was rather happy to see my chair empty...

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Anne and I went to the cinema to see "Den 12. mann" (The 12th man). A survival story based on the true story of the Norwegian resistance man Jan Baalsrud's escape from the nazis. They were a company of twelve, he was the one that survived. It is a well known story in Norway, not to mention a well known man, Norwegian movies can go either way; this one was, much to my surprise, really good.

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When we got out of the cinema temperatures had dropped to minus ten Celsius. Thankfully our preferred restaurant was just around the corner: The Thai Orchid. We had good sushi and suddenly it was closing time. Back home at around midnight, where Bjørn and I watched an episode in the brilliant French TV-series "Le bureau des légendes", and then it was time for bed.

An important resolution this year was to be more social, another to get out more and see movies, plays, exhibitions and so on. At least I am getting off to a good start.

Friday 5 January 2018

Self-indulgence

Went to the hairdresser today; got a haircut and made the grey disappear again. Pure magic. I may feel I am a hundred, I am not quite ready to look it yet.

In the evening Bjørn and I went to the cinema and saw "Star Wars - the last Jedi". I loved it. What a brilliant fairy tale.

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Thursday 4 January 2018

Dizzy

Could have slept all day; I have to go off this sleep medication. Thank goodness I had to get up to go to work. First went to the doc to pick up my 80% sick-leave documents. Then drove to Askim to deliver them, and was met in the hallway by Joanna who told me she missed me. I miss them too. Then to Kolbotn where I held the evening course as usual, but my head felt like it was filled with cotton. It was nice though. Work is so often the best medicine for me,

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Wednesday 3 January 2018

Sleepy

Still not finding a way of using my sleeping pills that lets me sleep at night and be awake at day. The doc told me they would make me drowsy in the morning, but today the drowsiness has lingered all day. Today again was much like yesterday. I have fixed a dress that needed sewing, but other than that, my to-do list is much the same as on Monday and Tuesday. I am not through it yet, but I do have a few hours before bedtime, so it should be doable. I am enjoying my three learning processes, and that I am able to focus on them: French, Go and photography. As for photography, I am only studying the manual for the newest camera, but I have learned a lot already. I really want to be able to use all the possibilities it has.

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Tuesday 2 January 2018

A somewhat reduced the 2nd

I am at the end of my cold, Bjørn in the middle of his. None of us felt up to doing much, and I wanted to continue with my brave new 2018 plans.

Today was much like yesterday. A couple of things worth mentioning: Had a talk with a doctor, and am on sick leave for another three weeks (80% sick leave, which means I still work 60%), contacted a new physiotherapist that came recommended from the place I buy my shoes. He is more expensive, but it is worth giving someone else a try. I need to get a hold on this plantar (or die trying). If he is good and I feel comfortable there, I will check out if he can help me with the knee injury also. This morning was the first small step in what will be a positive weight trend this year. I contacted my friend Manuela in Germany, and she wrote me a long message. Good to hear from her, I will reply tomorrow! No word from Amalie who is in Iran, and all I can do is wait. My mum phoned and we had a an hour's chat on the phone. I got us tickets for the new Star Wars movie on Friday. It has been on for a while, but we have not been able to go. I rethought holiday plans for February. I'd rather go somewhere warm, and do Sweden later.

Other than that, today was a repetition of yesterday, which I am very happy with.

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Monday 1 January 2018

2018. New year, new month, new week, new me.

2017 was much the same as 2016 in that I did not move forward much, nor did the two most negative sides of my life situation change: Bjørn is still unemployed, and we still live next to an aggressive, violent and seriously disturbed person. But some things were still a bit more positive. I got a second job, and though it makes me a bit tired to work 140%, it also brings in enough money for us to take immediate economic worries away. Also, Bjørn got a seasonal job, and worked on and off from May till November which also contributed to a better situation. And if nothing else turns up, it seems he can get some work there this year also. And though the situation with the neighbour has escalated to the point of wearing me down so that I was on a sick-leave for the two last weeks of December, the house is now on the market. It will be a difficult one to sell for obvious reasons, but hopefully someone a little tougher than us, will find it possible to live here. It is a wonderful house, a wonderful garden and it is close to a beautiful lake. It has a lot of things going for it. The year ended with us reporting the crazy one to the police again, giving picture evidence of him physically attacking us. So at least we can always hope. There are a few other things happening also, and hopefully by this time next year, this awful situation will be resolved.

Healthwise, 2017 was a bad year. The combination of working so much and of never being able to relax at home, took its toll on on me. Insomnia became a problem, and I am now on sleeping pills. I gained weight, struggled with a knee injury and with the plantar, and at the end of the year I had 4 months were I really did not move at all. I have never been in as bad a shape as what I am right now. But as Bjørn said: With this as a starting point, everything will be an improvement, and it can only go one way.

Socially, 2017 was better than 2016. So many of my colleagues in Askim have now become friends. We were also a little better at spending time with the friends we have. And I am determined to be even better at taking care of and expanding my social network in 2018.

My resolutions for 2018 are many, and I am determined to see them through:

1. Health: Lose 20 kilos, gain muscle mass and improve my general fitness level. Also stop ignoring the plantar and the knee injury, and start treating them and doing what is needed to make it better. 2. Be better at photography. Learn more, photograph more. 3. Be more of an outdoor person. Buy a tent, and use it. 4. Continue to be more social. 5. Travel and explore more. I love this, it makes such a difference in my life. I need to make it more of a priority. 6. Improve at French. 7. Improve at Go. 8. Keep up my blog, it helps me stay focused. 9. More culture. Cinema, theatre, ballet, opera, concerts... It makes life worth living. 10. Work on changing the negative sides of my life situation: Support hubby in trying to find a job, finds ways to get away from the neighbour. 11. Keep house and garden neat and clean. 12. Continue to do my job well. 13. Read a lot more. 14. Stay ahead on all things administrative, from paying bills to making needed phone-calls. 15. Becoming better at making myself more of a priority. Saying no when I need to say no, and don't let people or situations wear me down. Self-assertiveness is not my strong side - I will never be, but at least I can be a tad more of it than now.

Working hard and determined on all this, should make me feel a lot better about life both short- and long term.

I am not quite used to the drowsiness my sleeping pills brings yet, and today I have also been unwell. Still, I have this feeling that this year is my last chance to turn things around. So I was determined for it to start well. I have made ready the application to have a talk with the district's psychic health ward so that I can talk to them about the neighbour (resolution 14), I have spent more than two hours on my online pupils (12). I have sent a mail to a new physiotherpaist, asking for an appointment for treatment of the plantar. If he is a good one, I will ask him for help with my knee also (1, 14 and 15). I have spent half an hour in the pulsator (1 and 15), I have downloaded a user's manual for my newest camera, and started reading it (2). Me and Bjørn have looked at tents, coming closer to deciding which one we want (1 and 3). Me and Bjørn have planned where we want to spend winter holidays (5). I have learned one new expression in French, and have started to read up on the verb system (6). I have looked at 8 Go- problems in a theory book, and have discussed them with Bjørn, and then discussed their answers (7). I am blogging right now (8). I have talked with Espen on the phone (4 and 10). I have tidied a bit, washed an endless amount of clothes and cleaned a bathroom (11). I have read 50 pages of "I am Pilgrim" (13). I have paid bills and written a mail to our real estate agent (14). I have also done a little exercise and have been careful with my diet (1). Baby-steps, but it is a start.

Oh, and I have chatted with Zoltan for a couple of minutes. There are some people I have not seen in a long time: Joseph, Olaf, Susanne, Thomas and Hilde, Manuela, Tajia, Markus, Zoltan... I do hope I am able to meet some of them again in 2018.

One more good thing that happened at the end of 2017 is that I got reacquainted with Cassie. She is from the US, so we are only in touch via the web, but I do enjoy being in touch with her.

Most of my life I have been able to beat the odds, to reach goals and to fulfil ambitions. I have a lot of strength and determination in me when I set my mind to it. I have let myself forget that, and have just been rolling with the bad times. It is on high time to change that and try to be the best version of myself. Day 1 has been a good start.

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Thursday 28 December 2017

Elverum in winter

Taking it easy. Both me and my father-in-law have a cold. Power went out for 4 hours this evening. Bjørn and I drove to the nearest petrol station to bring coffee to us all, but that too had no electricity. So we drove to the first one that did.

I do not like winter much, but it is beautiful.

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Wednesday 27 December 2017

Gothenburg - Ørje - Elverum

Had a nice breakfast before we carried our stuff to the car and headed towards home. Took us about three and a half hour to get here. We repacked, changed a couple of fuses, and started the 3 hour drive to Elverum to visit the in-laws. Elverum is north from here, and on the way there we encountered good old Winter.

Monday 25 December 2017

Ikke Bestått by Hjort Rosenfeldt

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Have read a lot of crime this year. It is easy and uncomplicated reading which is good when life otherwise is complicated. Hjort Rosenfeldt is always good, and I like their galleriy of characters. They have a bit of depth, develop and are interesting. The crime plots can be a little on the uninteresting side, as it was this time. Still enjoyed it though.

Christmas day

Slept, had breakfast and a late lunch. Had a stroll at the shopping mall where the Christmas sales started today. Before we went here, we told each other we needed a big and solid suitcase. We found a quality one on sale, and bought it. Other than that, today has been about rest. Oh, and a very nice surprise: Olaf phoned. Can not remember the last time I talked to him, and that really cheered me up.

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Sunday 24 December 2017

Christmas

Slept long. Had a moment of missing the family Christmas. Went to the only place in this city that served dinner on Christmas eve; the restaurant at the Clarion Post Hotel. And the hotel itself was clearly prepared for Christmas. Dinner was perfect. It could not have been better. The food was excellent, the atmosphere was relaxed and nice, the waiters were as good as they come. And Bjørn and I kept ourselves entertained by making stories about the others guests and why they were not at home for Christmas. All remains of melancholy was soon gone, and the evening was enchanting.

After dinner, we went to the hotel bar and had four rounds of drinks. All good, and the bar was a friendly and laid back place that we really enjoyed.

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